A Year Without a Man is our story of transformation breaking free from suffering from our romantic obsessions with married men and the belief that we couldn’t let go of one man until we had another one to hold on to. We rediscover who we were as individuals and reemerge stronger, more confident, and happier than ever before.

A Year Without a Man is a community that offers a safe space where you’ll find the resources that were most helpful to us, you’ll connect with others on similar paths, and find programs to support you as you begin your own personal transformation. Most importantly, we want you to know that you are not alone.

Gayle: For 23 years, I was a stay-at-home mom and doctor’s wife who was dependent on my husband to provide for the family, just as my father had modeled. My need for loving connection was never met, and I had a paralyzing fear of being alone which stopped me from leaving even after discovering my husband’s affair. Eventually I found solace in the arms of another man, himself married, and saw that relationship as my way out.

Barb: I learned to be independent as a coping mechanism after my father left my family when I was two. My need for financial independence was deeply ingrained as I watched my single mother’s struggle to make ends meet. I chose a career as a technology executive that would secure my financial future, yet was helplessly on a pursuit to always have a man by my side to help fill a deep, inner void. Therapy helped me to understand how that early lesson created a silent but deeply held belief that I was not worthy of a man’s love. I subconsciously thought the right man would fix me which is why I too found myself involved in an illicit affair with a married colleague. My life had finally become unmanageable and my suffering too great to deny.

One Halloween, after not seeing each other for years, we reconnected. That night revealed we had a lot in common—including two very big secrets and a desire to stop the chaos in our lives. Our connection and shared obsessions put us on a course toward a radical idea: to live a year without a man.

We committed to creating a process that would help us along this deeply personal and introspective journey intent to end our suffering. After more than a decade of sharing our experience with others facing similar challenges, we wrote the story of “A Year Without a Man” and created A Year Without a Man Community for all those who fear being alone and believe that they can’t let go of one relationship until they have another to hold onto.

Today we remain close friends and work together to support others facing similar challenges who have the desire to live a life in alignment with who they truly are.

If you can identify with any of the below statements, the book and community are for you

-You were raised to believe you can’t live alone or provide for yourself

-Deep down you know you can’t trust anyone to take care of you (so you have to take care of yourself)

-You think that “being single” means being “less than”

-You’re going through a divorce or breakup

-You have had, are considering having, or are currently having an affair

-You want to become a stronger role model for your kids

-You’ve tried giving up dating, and it didn’t help. Now, you’re ready for something transformational and healing

-You want to be able to find security & empowerment in yourself and your friendships

-You’re terrified to change things, but you know there’s freedom on the other side

-You’re ready to say, “I get to choose…(my boundaries, my future, my worth, what’s best for me, etc)”